Just How Fast The Night Changes

Recently, I just realized that I'm not getting any younger. I realized it while I was watching an online mass. The priest said that we are all going to die. It's just a matter of time. The life span of a person in average is 70 years old. And I just turned 32. So if God permits that I'll reach the age of 70, I only have 38 years left. But I doubt I'll reach that age. Cause my lifestyle isn't ideal to reach that kind of age. I sleep late. I wake up late. I don't eat vegetables. I don't exercise. Anyway,  suddenly I asked myself why I waste so much time of my 20's worrying about my future. And my future is already happening. I am living in the present, but 5 years ago this was the future that I was worrying about. I was always in a rush to figure things out without realizing that life is passing.

It occurred to me how I wasted my time being disappointed with a lot of things. I made a mistake of not living in the present. I spent my time waiting. With what? I really have no idea what I am waiting for. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism for me. I was in denial, so I thought that there was something that I was waiting for. I don't want to believe that life is already happening. I thought it was just a game. I thought that time will be waiting for when I am ready to be an adult. I thought I was just in a role play. 

Now it dawned on me. This is the real thing. I'm an adult now. I'm not getting any younger. I have to think of long-term. I cannot rewind the time. I have to make every day count. I have to be willing to take risks. I have to have the courage to pursue the things that I want to do. I cannot wait forever for the things that may or may not come. I have to make time to do the things tgat I want because time will never go back. I will never be this young again. Before I know it I'm already 40 and I won't have as much energy as I have now to do the things that I've been wanting to do. There is no room to waste any more time. 

I have to be mindful of my health as well. I shouldn't let myself be stressed with the things that don't concern me. As we get older, we are more prone to sickness such as stroke. And one of the major sources of it is stress. If I want to reach the age of 70, I shouldn't always let my emotion get the best of me. I shouldn't let other's behavior affect my inner peace. I've been working hard just to gain my peace of mind. I shouldn't give other people any power to control me. 

I believe that I deserve a good and happy life. I am not here to spend the remaining of my years getting upset and disappointed. I deserve to spend the rest of my years making happy memories. I don't want to go back in my life with full of regrets. 




au revoir. 😊

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