Childhood's False Beliefs

When you were a child, what were the things that you believed were facts, but then you grew up and realized they were all lies? Like the way you believed that Santa Claus existed. Or when you believed your best friend when she told you that you'd be friends forever. Or that time when you believed that your crush didn't have any flaws and that he's perfect. Or that the clouds were following you wherever you went. But then you went to school, and your science teacher told you everything about gravity. 

When I was a child, I thought that when someone grows old, his or her name changes. Like, someone's name as a kid was Lily. So, when she grows old, it will turn into something more mature, like Penelope. Well, I know some people do that. When they move to a new city, they change their name. But when I was a child, I had no idea that birth certificates existed. I just thought that someone could easily change their name with just one click. But aside from that, I can't remember anything that I believed to be true, but that was really not. Well, of course, except for Santa Claus. I guess every child is guilty of being a believer. Probably because I am not that easy to fool. I have to see it first for me to believe it. You can say that I have trust issues. I think that is a gift somehow. 😂

However, I can say that I am guilty of trying to make my grades high so that my parents, especially my mother, will be proud of me. I believed it was a way of making my parents love me more. Or a way to gain more friends. I thought that when I wanted something, my cry would make my mother have pity on me and give me the thing that I wanted. I thought that I had to have everything that I wanted in an instant. I thought that I should be popular as a kid. I thought that I should please everyone. I thought that everyone should like me. I thought that I shouldn't make mistakes or that I could never make mistakes. I thought that making fun of people was a way to be liked by others. I thought that I should always have more. I thought that I should always try to be more. I thought I should be a great dancer. I thought I should be a great singer. I thought I needed more friends. I thought everyone should be my friend. I thought everyone could be my friend. I thought that I should be intelligent. I thought I should be beautiful. I thought that I should be accepted by everyone. I thought that I had to be perfect. 

Now that I am an adult, it has occurred to me that those are all false beliefs. I realize that I don't have to have high grades for my parents to love me more. They love me despite my performance at school. It's not even a way to have friends. I realize that if my mother says no, it's really a no. Nothing could change her mind. Not even if I shed tears of blood. I don't have to have everything that I want because I don't think I deserve it all. And if I want something, I have to earn it. I have to work hard for it. I realize I cannot please everyone. I don't even have to. I realize that, as a human, nobody is perfect. Everyone is bound to make mistakes in their lives. No one is perfect. And I shouldn't try to be perfect. I will never be perfect. I have always been enough for myself and for the people who truly love me. I shouldn't try to become more. I can only do so much. I cannot force myself to do the things that I know I am not capable of doing just to impress people. I don't need many friends. I only need those with whom I can truly be comfortable. More often than not, I enjoy my own company. As an adult, I realize how much I enjoy being alone. I don't have to be smart. I don't have to be beautiful. I don't have to live with the standards of the world. I should just be myself. I should just be kind. I should be considerate. I should have respect for people. I guess that will be enough. For as long as I know that I am not hurting anyone, I shouldn't care what other people think of me. I know they don't even think of me.

How about you? What were your false beliefs as a child? You know you can share them through commenting below. 




au revoir. 😊




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