Rocky

Hey there, my friend. It's been a week since you left. The day you came here was a surprise to me and the day you left was also unexpected. 

I could still vividly recall your first day here in our house. You were so aloof. Even the mere presence of Avatar you would instantly grumble. I definitely understand your behavior. We were all unfamiliar to you. You've been taken away from your real family. Though it didn't take long for you to get accustomed with our presence. After a couple of days you're beginning to warm up with us and became the puppy that you were. You and Avatar became playmates. You're not grumbling anymore even when he came close to you. Even to me, you come near me voluntarily. You would climb up to my legs. You come near me when I was doing something while you were looking at me with full of curiosity. It's as if you're asking me what I'm doing. 

Days went by and I got to love you more and more each day. Your playfulness. Your too much love for food. The way you stare at me with your puppy eyes. Your curiosity. Your cute puppy bark. During midnight and you cry cause you want to get inside our bedroom. Every time you bark cause you were outside the house and the door was left ajar, cause you haven't yet learned how to open a door by just a push of your mouth. Every time you came near me when you see someone coming near you. It's as if I was your safe space. I love all of them about you.

All of a sudden I woke up with the news that you didn't eat during breakfast. I thought you just didn't have the appetite. I thought you're just sleepy. That you'd better sleep than eat. I thought during lunch you would come to me and wait for me to drop you food while I was eating. Just like what you always do. But you didn't. You didn't even eat the food on your plate. Same thing during supper. The following day you still didn't want to eat. That's when I start to worry. Since you haven't eaten for two days, I know you'll get weak. You even barely drink water. And you occasionally throw up. Every time I woke up that night, I was wondering how you are. When I woke up the following morning, I saw you walking so slowly. Of course, you'd walk slow. You haven't eaten for three days. You don't have the energy. You stopped when I called you, but you didn't come to me. You were just staring at me. 

A little later that day, I saw you're about to get up the stair. I hurriedly came to you to help you. I was glad that you want to come up. I thought the medication was working well cause you already have the energy to go upstairs even though you haven't eaten for three consecutive days. I became hopeful that you're about to get better. I helped you climb up the stair, but you stopped. I figured you can't since you're weak. But after a while, you continued climbing. You bravely made it to the bedroom without my help. I was rubbing you on your head and asking you why aren't you eating. After a while, while I was sewing, you were just staring at me with your eyes that I will remember for the rest of my life. You would bow down your head every once in a while, I figured you want to sleep. But then when I look at you, you were again staring at me. 

Afternoon came and I saw you again walking at a slow pace. I was getting more worried. Then you came near where I was sitting. You lied down there. I gave you water but you didn't drink. I was doing something to distract my attention from you. I didn't want to think about you cause I'm a pessimist. And as much as possible I didn't want to entertain any negative thoughts about your present condition. Suddenly, you didn't have the energy to look up at me anymore. I was calling you, but your face was downcast. I was crying while I was taking a bath wondering what would happen to you. After I just had taken a bath, I don't know if it's you that I heard crying. I'm sorry that I didn't come to you.

I'm sorry that I wasn't there to accompany you during you last moment. You always chose to be beside me and I'm sorry for letting you down when you needed my help. I'm sorry.

Even for just a short period of time you already occupied a space in my heart. I will forever treasure the time that I spent with you. You were one  of my best friends that I didn't know I needed. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being so playful, naughty and most specially a "foodie". Thank you for being you. How I wish we could spend another four months, four years, even four decades with you. I wish you lived longer. I wish you could still play with us. I wish I could still share with you my food. I wish you were still here. I miss you so much. But I guess some good things must really come to an end. 

You were given to us for only four months, but surely you will remain in my heart forever. I wish you could still come back. I will never forget the way you stared at me. I miss you, my friend. 

au revoir. 😭