If I Could Change

If there's something you want to change about yourself, what would it be and why?

If I could change, I want to be brave. I want to be able to stand up for myself. Being an introvert and shy aren't really the best combination. I want to have the liberty to do the things that I want to do. Because most of the time I don't have the courage to do them. Part of being shy is being afraid to ask people what I want or to be honest with them every time they ask me what I want. 

I want to have the courage to face my fears. I'm no longer comfortable with making myself feel small. I want to prove to myself that I am capable of doing the things that I'm most afraid to try. 

I want to have the bravery to tell someone if their actions hurt me. I want to be honest with my feelings. I no longer want other people to decide what I want. I want to speak up and be honest if I didn't want something. I want to be bold enough to fight for what I truly want an believe. I don't want to be the "yes to anything" person anymore. I want to be able to say no without feeling guilty. 

Sometimes I want to go back to my old self. The loud one. I used to be so talkative when I was young. I remember one time one of my cousins told me that I was talkative when I was a kid. "What happened?," he asked. I used to give comments about certain things. I used to speak up even if my opinion wasn't needed. But then, I realized no. I don't want to go back to that person anymore. I am no longer that. Cause the old me tend to share too much information with someone. And my old self's mouth didn't know when to stop, or didn't think before she speak. That's why she tend to hurt other people's feelings. And I no longer want to be that person. 

I just want to have the courage to do what I want. I want to prove to myself that I can do things on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can be independent. I want to show myself that I am capable of living independently. 

Sometimes I wish I was brave. I wish I was bold. I wish I was fierce. I wish I was dauntless. But I think what I truly want is to gain confidence. I don't want to change a thing. I just want to gain confidence. Just a little bit of self-confidence would be so nice. I'm not asking for too much, though cause I can't stand people who are overly confident. 😅




au revoir. 😊

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