Sat With Ren: Because You Are Still A Kid

Being the youngest child has its pros and cons, but really mostly cons. One of its pros is that you were everyone's favorite when you were still the youngest family member. But of course, it changes over time, e.g with the presence of a niece or nephew. 

Then you realized that you're no longer the apple of the eye, and you also realized that it's okay. It's okay especially if you are not the type of person who doesn't like to be on the spotlight. At the same time you couldn't help but miss those moments when you were everyone's favorite. You kinda miss those times when everyone considers you and your feelings.

But here's the thing, if you are the youngest sibling you don't grow old, you cannot grow old (not literally, though). You are always a kid in their eyes no matter how old you get. For me, that's a bad thing because:

1. You're always the 'do this' and 'do that' person.

2. If your siblings poke fun at you, you can't get mad. They'd tell you it's only a joke. If you cry you're only being too sensitive even if it's really hurtful. 

3. Your opinions aren't valid. 

4. They won't believe anything you say about some serious or family-related topics. 

5. If you say something 'intellectual,' their initial reaction would be to laugh at what you said. They won't take it seriously. 

6. You aren't entitled for any suggestions. Because what do you know? You're still a kid.

7. You're not supposed to contradict anyone older than you. Your only answer should be an automatic 'yes' to anything. It doesn't matter whether you really agree to it or not. It should always be a 'yes.' 

8. You're not supposed to get mad when a family member does something bad to you. They would always think that you're only being overly dramatic or too sensitive. Whatever you say will always backfire at you. 

9. Your family doesn't believe in your capabilities, especially your mother. She has always doubts especially if it involves adulting stuff, like paying the bills, grocery shopping, etc. She always thinks that you need help even with a simple task. 

10. But she always expects you to be mature, be responsible and to act as a grown-up.

11. You can't answer back or defend yourself. They think that explaining your side of the story means that you are being disrespectful. 

If you are the youngest sibling probably 'gaslighting' isn't new to you. If you are the youngest sibling and you have a huge age gap between your siblings, you feel isolated at times. Most often than not it might feel like you are alone and no one understands you. It might not be true, but it isn't false either. 

Generally, if you are the youngest child of your parents your role is to always understand, but not to be understood. To be mature, but in the eyes of your family you will always be the immature one. You should be able to live independently once you reached a certain age, but they won't let you. Simple because they they think that you can't. They always think that you can't do anything all by yourself, but they have high expectations from you. You have to be responsible, but to them you will always be the irresponsible child no matter what you do. They're the ones who taught you that if you have nothing good to say you better keep your mouth shut. Then they wonder why you're always quiet. If you are the youngest child it would feel like you have to always prove yourself to them.

Being the youngest child is basically one big irony. Your siblings think that you're the luckiest, but it's the exact opposite. I don't know about you, but that's how I see the reality of it. But what do I know? I am still a kid.

au revoir.😊