Sat With Ren: What's The Most Difficult Question You've Had To Answer

"What's the biggest mistake you've ever made when you were in college?" This is only one of many tough questions I had to answer during one of my job interviews. In which I answered with, "I think I should have enjoyed more my college days instead of focusing too much with my studies." And you guessed it right—I didn't pass the interview. 

When I was a kid the most difficult question I had to answer was, "What do you want for your birthday?" I had difficulty in answering that question since I'm not the type of kid (actually even now that I'm an adult) to tell people what I really wanted. My reason back then was because I was really shy in telling them what I wanted. I thought maybe I would be asking for too much. Sometimes, I couldn't really think of anything to ask for. So I would always answer them with, "Anything." Then they would answer me back with, "There's no such thing as anything." Then I always ended up receiving cash instead of some stuff. They said that I should be the one to buy instead since I won't tell them what I want. I kinda miss hearing that question. Because now, I don't get to hear that question anymore. No one dares to ask me what I want anymore. I promise to answer them truthfully now that my wants are innumerable. Just kidding. I was still the same demure young kid who's not willing to tell anyone what she really wants. 

Now that I'm an adult, the question that I always have a hard time answering is, "How are you?" Seems easy, right? I tell you it's not. Because I don't know how and what to answer. I don't know if being honest and telling them that I'm not okay would be the smartest move to make. So, I always ended up answering them with, "Everything's fine." End of conversation. Even when things aren't going so well, "Everything's fine." Even when inside I'm dying, "Everything is fine." Even if my mind is in chaos with everything that is happening around me. "Everything. Is. Fine." That's definitely my default answer to anyone who asks how I'm doing. 

It's hard to admit to people what you truly feel. To you it's already a big deal, but sometimes they would tell you you're only being too dramatic. So, it's best to just keep it to yourself. No one's really interested what's going on with you anyway. They only tell you they understand what you're going through, but they don't. They're just saying it because they think it will make you feel better. No one understands yourself more than you do because no one knows yourself more than you do. Only you can give the best pep talk to yourself. Don't wait for other people to give it to you. Other people are only good in pretending they care, but they really don't. 

When things become too heavy and you think you can't carry on with your life anymore, God is the only one that we can all rely on. You can only find the comfort and peace in Him that you seek from other people. He will always be there to carry anything that we can't anymore. Turn to Him and He will give you the answer to the most difficult question that you need to answer. 

Sometimes the most challenging question can only be answerable with a yes or a no. But we have a hard time uttering it because we're not sure about its repercussions. There also comes a time when we already know the answer, but we are not yet ready to admit it to ourselves. Most of the time the answer is already right in front of us, but our vision is too clouded. We still keep on searching for answers because what's in front of us isn't the one that we want. 

Sometimes the question isn't too difficult to answer. It's just that we tend to lie to ourselves or to someone asking. It's not how tough the question is. It's about who is asking the question. Someone whom we can be comfortably honest with. Someone who knows how to read between the lines. Someone we know has sincerity when they ask, "How are you?" or "What do you want?" A person who truly cares knows the lie behind, "Everything is fine." And they don't even have to ask what we want, because they already know us like the back of their hand. 

au revoir. 😊