Sat With Ree: What's The Most Hurtful Thing Someone Said To You

It's amazing how words have a powerful way of penetrating to our heart. There's this saying that goes like this, "The tongue has no bones, but it is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words." 

Others would probably agree that it's better to be hurt physically than emotionally. Because if you've been hurt physically, the wounds will gonna heal eventually. There's a bandage that you can use to stop the bleeding. Sometimes it would leave scars, but that's it. Unlike when you've been hurt emotionally. It would leave no visible scar, but your heart is bleeding to death without knowing when it's gonna stop. You know it will, but you don't have any idea about the when. 

When I was a kid I used to be fat. I would hear my classmates back then telling my other classmates that I was a pig. But I was glad that I wasn't the only fat kid back then. Of course, I felt so embarrassed everytime I hear them say that. In a way, it lowered my self-esteem. I believed them because I know it in myself that I was really fat. Back then, I used to envy girls who have a slim figure. It made me wish to have a body like them also. 

Since then, it lead me into thinking that I am fat even when I lose some weight, I am still fat. I don't believe when someone tells me that I am skinny. I would always feel surprise when someone tells me that. I would always think that perhaps I only wear baggy clothes that's why they can say that or they're only bluffing me. 

I thought that calling me "fat" or "pig" were the worst things someone could ever told me. Until I realized that wasn't the most hurtful words that I would hear. That was only a dry-run for a more intense and hurtful words to come. 

During my internship in college, one of my assigned departments was in accounting. I like to say that Math was my favorite subject, except that it wasn't. My family knew how I struggled with the subject. So, when I told them that I will be assigned to the accounting department, a family member asked me, "Can you do it?" I get it why she was so dubious because even I, myself, was also doubtful. I already knew it, but it hurt even more when someone rubbed it on my face. 

What I came to realize is that the most hurtful words that will wound your heart won't come from a stranger. It will come from the people who are closest and matter most to you. Yeah, it hurts when a stranger suddenly call you names. It hurts that they judge you with your physical appearance. But it hits differently when you hear it from the people who are supposed to console you. Because strangers don't have any idea how you struggle with all your flaws, but the people who are close to you have somehow an idea. And yet they still have the audacity to point out to you the things that you've been struggling with. They probably don't intend to hurt you, but you perceive their words differently. They would say something without even meaning it because it's their personality. But of course, they don't have the last say whether they'll hurt you with their comments or not. 

Another realization is that, the awful things people would tell you isn't the most hurtful. What hurts the most are those whispers about you that they tell to other people. Isn't it more polite to tell the person involve instead of telling it to those who are not? It's as if they are recruiting other people to hate you. Of course, the people they would share their version of the story will side on them. Because they would create distorted stories, so that you will appear bad in other people's eyes. Sometimes people could be so insensitive and don't mind how their words could easily affect a person with their single remark. They would say whatever they want to say. It's in their nature to be so tactless and inconsiderate. People could be really mean at times, and we can't do anything about it but to let them be. 

Always remember that you don't have to believe what other people tell you. It would only be true if you believe them. As much as possible, don't take their words personally. What they say about you is a reflection of their personality not yours. They could throw all the hurtful words at you, but in the end it's your choice if you would let their words make you pity yourself.

The best thing that you can do if you can't take their words out of your mind is to use them as an inspiration for you to be better than they thought. People would feed you lies about yourself, and if you don't know yourself so well you'll believe them. Prove them wrong with their fake assumptions about you. Do not believe their false accusations about you especially if you know it in your heart that you didn't do them any wrong. Do not give them the satisfaction by making them believe that they're right about who they think you are. You are much better than other people's idea about you. You grow up and it's not your fault if they are still stuck with the old version of you. 

au revoir.😊