Sat With Ree: I'll Be There For You

As of March 2020, approximately there are 7, 800, 000, 000 people in the world. So, if you are in need of new friends, there are a lot to choose from. Especially now with the presence of social media, even those who are in other continents can be your friend. 

Though it is so easy to find a new friend nowadays, the hard part is to find a real one. Not someone who posts a photo of you together with a lengthy and cheesy caption during your birthday because obviously she looks good on that photo, or worst case scenario she only wants to gain more "like" or "heart" reacts. But in reality, you haven't talked in ages. Who you want to be friends with is someone who will not comment when you post a sad face emoji, but instead will send you a private message asking why or what happened. The question is how do you keep this kind of friend? 

How do you maintain your bond with your friends even when you don't get to see them often?

1. Stay in touch. Keep your communications open. I know it's impossible to talk to them every day, but every once in a while make sure that you find time to send them a message asking how are things going on with their life. Or when you saw something funny on the internet send them the link so that you will have someone to laugh with. Conversations with your true friends don't necessarily always have to make sense. Just as long as you are not talking about other people's life, then it's still a healthy conversation. Even if it takes a couple of days for your friends to reply, as long as they're still answering your messages and always pick where you left off then you're still good. But if it took them a year to reply, even if your message was already marked "seen" then it's time for you to get the "message." Even if they are miles away from you and they live in a different time zone, always see to it that you communicate. "Distance doesn't separate people, silence does."

2. Never ever forget to greet them during their birthday. I don't know about you, but personally forgetting that it's my birthday is a big deal. I'm almost 30 years old now, but I still know the birthdays of my three closest friends in elementary. To think that we were only classmates for four years, and we haven't talked since then. Even if it's just a simple "Happy Birthday," make sure that you always greet them on their special day. Because if you don't, they would feel that they aren't important to you anymore.  

3. Make sure that you keep a healthy balance between your lovelife and your friends. Being in love doesn't give you the right to just blew off your friends. You were friends with them even before you met the "love of your life." Now that you have a lovelife it would be easy for you to cancel plans with them? I get it that you're in love. But, why?😏

4. If your friend just got into a new relationship, make sure to respect her newfound happiness. Never make your friend choose between you and her boyfriend because you wouldn't like who she's going pick. Kidding aside, she knows better than you think. You can't give her the happiness that her new relationship could ever give. If she's really your friend you would want to see her happy, that's why you have to understand.

5. Keep your friends updated. Always make sure to let them know what is happening in your life by sending them a private message. Do not break your news to them just by surprisingly seeing in their newsfeed.  Whether you just had a breakup or got promoted in your job or you just got engaged, let them know. They care about you more than you think.

6. Understand that your friends are human. They make mistakes and so do you. Do not let their one mistake ruin your friendship especially if you've been friends for a very long time. If they did something that hurt you, if you can, just forgive them and let it go. If you can't get past it, try to talk to them only after your anger subside. Do not speak to them while you are still upset because you might say words that you would regret later only after your friendship was already ruined. Take time to understand first why they did what they did. If you have an issue with your friend, talk to them first instead of talking to other people who is/are not involved. Forgive them for their shortcomings. As long as you want them to be in your life, you will always choose to forgive them despite the immensity of their mistake. Unless she stole your boyfriend or your husband, then it's really unforgivable. 😂

7. Be open with your friends even if you are already close. Just like what I have said above, try to talk to the person involve about an issue and not on other people who are not part of the problem. Be transparent with your friends. Tell them if their actions hurt you so that they'd know and would not do it again. That's one of the real tests of friendship, if you can be brutally honest with them without them getting offended, and vice versa. That's also one way of making your friendship strong. 

8. Understand that your friends change. They were not the same people you met 10 years ago. They change their character, they outgrow things sometimes people and they change their priorities. Understand that there are now different factors involved and sometimes your friends undergo different pressure—pressure from the people around them or simply from their own expectation. As we grow older our preferences also change and that's an inevitable part of life that we have to accept and respect if we don't want to lose our friends. All we can do is to be a friend to them and always support them in whatever they choose to do. 

9. Always be there for your friends whether in good or in bad times. There are friends who don't always share their problems because they are not used to it. But if you are friends for a very long time, you already know them like the back of your hand. You understand even their unspoken words. Who knows you're friend is having a bad day, then all of a sudden you send them a private message asking how she's doing. It could lighten her mood or brighten her day without you knowing. 

10. Never demand anything from your friends especially their time. Let's go back to #8 and focus on changing of priorities. Maybe your priority now is to just enjoy life and live in the moment. On the other hand, your friend's priority focused on her future already—she wants to buy her own house, have her own car or build her own family. Let her do what she needs to do. At the end of the day, if she really wants to see you she'll find time despite her busy schedule. 

Always keep in mind that friendship is a two-way street. If you don't get the same energy that you give, maybe it's time to find a new friend. 😀 Just kidding. Effort is very important in maintaining a long-lasting friendship. It is also important to make your friends feel appreciated. Do not take your friends for granted because finding a true friend is not that easy, especially in this world that is full of—. Yeah, nevermind. 😜

Friendship isn't always about agreeing with each other all the time. Each one of us has our own different opinions and we see things differently. What's important is that at the end of the day you always choose to respect each other even if at times you don't see eye to eye. 

It is also important to consider what kind of friends you would want to keep in your life simply because in one way or another your friends influence you. As what Ina Montecillio said: "Tell me who your friends are 

.....and I'll tell you who my friends are para barakada." 😆

Ciao. 😊