Sat With Ree: What If You Knew You're Dying

What if you knew when your last day here on earth will be? How are you going to spend your last remaining day?

I would choose to spend my last day here on earth in the simplest way possible. I want to start my day without even thinking that it will be my last. I only want to savour every moment of the day. 

I am not a morning person, but if I know that it would be my last day being alive I would be willing to rise up early, so that I could witness the sun rising. It's one of the things that I haven't done, yet.

After watching the sun rose, I would go for a buffet breakfast. I'm going to have a scrumptious breakfast for one last time. I rarely experience having a good breakfast, though breakfast food is my absolute favorite. 

I'm going to visit a church after that. I would spend a few moments there thanking the Lord, Jesus Christ for giving me the opportunity to live my life. I'm going to thank Him for everything. I would thank Him for all the days He has given me, all of them, the good and the bad. I'm going to thank Him for all the people He has given me. I would thank Him for all the answered and unanswered prayers. Though I always thank Him everyday. 

After that I would go for some stroll just nearby. I want to take a mental picture of my surroundings, the place where I spent my whole lifetime. Then I would go to a grocery store for one last time. I would only go around with nothing to buy only to experience for the last time the feeling of being there listening to the music playing while I am walking leisurely like I am wandering in the park. 

Then I will go to some of my favorite restaurants to buy some food. I would bring them home and lock myself in the room. In my room I’m going to write a letter for my most favorite people— my mother. I would tell her how my life had been so meaningful and colorful because of her. I would also let her know that I’m going to miss her and that if I’m going to restart my life again I would still want her to be a part of my life. If I’m still in the mood, I would also write for my friends, my niece and nephews. I would leave the letter in my closet where someone could find it easily if ever they would peek at the clothes that I left.

I would spend my lunch with my mother and few family members just like what we always do. I don't want to give them any idea that it will be my last lunch with them. I only want what our normal lunch would usually go. 

I would watch my favorite noon time show after our lunch. For one last time, I want to laugh until my stomach hurts watching the show. I would spend my afternoon just like how I always spend it—boring. 

I would also want to go to a place where I could watch the sun setting. I would spend an hour or so there simply thinking and remembering the solid good old days of my life while eating my favorite burger, fries and coke float. 😋 

I would spend my dinner with my mom and some family members again. I would probably want to lengthen our dinner time cause I know it would be my last meal with them. 

I'm going back to my room after our dinner. There I would spend the last remaining hours of my life. I would rewatch some episodes of my most favorite TV series—Friends, while eating the take-out food that I had in the morning. I only want to have a good laugh and totally forget what and where I'm gonna be the next day. I'm not going to leave the room anymore. Perhaps I'm going to cry a bit knowing that the next day I won't be here anymore. I also want to look back at those photos that I took in the past years. I  want to remember those few rare moments that made my life worth the while. I want to relieve the past and remember the feelings that I had while I was in the moment. 

I only want to remember those moments that I know I became brave and tried something. I want to recall those times where I failed miserably, but then I rose to my feet again and dared to prove to myself that I don't easily give up. I want to look back realizing that I didn't relinquish even with few mishaps here and there. I want to make myself proud thinking that I fought a good fight. I don't want to have any regret about the things I supposed to do, but I didn't. I don't want to have a memory of me hurting other people with my words or actions. 

I want to spend my last remaining hours laughing and happily crying.

I don't want to let the people who are close to me know that I'm going to die the next day. I don't want them to give me a special treatment just because they know that I'm dying. I want to spend my last day with them the usual way. I don't want to see them getting sad or pitying me because it won't matter anymore. 

I want my last day here on earth to be worry-free and without any drama and without anything special or memorable thing to happen. I don't want to spend my last day being completely happy because by then I would probably won't want to leave. 

ciao. 😊