Two-Zero-One-Four

                                    

2014 has officially ended. The year of the wooden horse had been an amazing chapter to me. I cried so hard as much as I laughed.  

This year made me realize a lot of things. This year brought me closer to the person that I think God intended me to be. 

The first few months of this year started well. And as I continue browsing through the other pages I've seen some torn out pages that I still need to find the missing pieces.  I've seen some folded pages that dare me to unfold. As I unfolded some there are those that made me regret opening it but eventually I've come to a point where I thanked myself for having the courage. I can skip that page and move to the next page that was already open but moving on to the next page I might leave out something good. Maybe that folded pages were the ones that contained the best part of the story. 

365 pages were all read and another 365 pages are yet to unfold. Before going on to the next chapter, let me just share with you some learnings and realizations that I had throughout the entire 2014.

FAMILY

   Of course family always comes first. They are the ones who annoy you without them even knowing same as you to them. They can sometimes irritate you but you could also be the one irritating them. After all, whose family is perfect? But at the end of the day they are still the ones who you want to be with. You will get sad if they are sad and you will feel happy when they are happy. They are the ones who you want to share laughter with, the ones you want to be with in the best and the worst time of your life.  They occupy the biggest part of your heart and plays a vital part of your life. Without them I am nothing and nowhere. Family are there to make you the person God wants you to be. This year one thing I learned is that it is not always about me. It is not always about what I feel. I should also be sensitive to the people around me. Another thing is that I should choose carefully the battles that I'm going to take or I should choose carefully all the thoughts that I'm going to let inside my mind. I should not waste my time thinking and creating problems that weren't even there in the first place. Your friends may leave but your family will forever be there. 

   This year brought me closer to God and trust Him wholeheartedly. A year where I discovered who and what really matters. 

   Throughout this year it made me realize that I should do something not because it's easy but because it's the right thing to do. 

FRIENDS

   Friends are the kind of family that you choose to be with. Some stick around while some went away and you cannot control their decisions. You hold no control over anyone. You cannot force someone to stay in your life. You are now on your own different worlds. As I was browsing my news feed on Facebook I read something that was truly relatable. "Sometimes, we need to appreciate the presence of our friends, whether we see them often or talk at times.. cause one day when you look back and see this picture, you will realize they've left you with another set of friends." I've discovered how to be happy in my own little ways. I discovered that going on a movie house and watching a movie alone wasn't that bad. 

CAREER

   "If it's not meant to be, it won't be," no matter how hard I pray and try. I constantly pray to have a job. It's tough to admit but every time I saw my former classmates having their own jobs, earning their own money, buying something that they want and going to different places, I get jealous and made me question myself, "when will I experience the same things?" But eventually I have learned how to just let things go and trust God that He is preparing me for something big. I'm an impatient person and He wants to teach me how to be patient. I should not rush into anything. When the time is right I'm going to get everything that I prayed for, just not yet. Everything in God's perfect timing. I learned how to live in the moment and take one step at a time. I'm still young and I should be living the best time of my life and not stressing with things that I cannot control. The time will come that the job I'm looking for will be the one looking for me. That's the spirit, right? I'm just too fed up with piles of rejections. It made me appreciate more everything and everyone around me which I did less in the past. I just find it amazing that the best times of my life haven't happened yet. It made me look forward to waking up each and every day hoping that, that day might be my lucky day. 

LIFE (In general) 

   I remember I wrote it on one of my journals, I wrote there not to expect anything and simply go with the flow. At first I thought it's an impossible thing to happen because I'm a person full of expectations. Eventually I didn't realize that I'm beginning to live by that  mantra. It's actually a good reminder for my whole lifetime that I should strictly follow. I just want to be surprised with everything. And as I was browsing on the last few pages left, surprisingly I received things that I never expected. I never asked to have those things, nor invest to buy it. But to my surprise, through someone, God rewarded me with those things. It made me think that perhaps I did something good from the past that made me deserve those things. Therefore I guess I should continue doing lots of good things, not because I want something in return but because it's the right thing to do and I am making Him happy by doing good things. Everything that I do should be for God and not for anyone else.

2014, thank you for a wonderful year. It is indeed a one roller coaster ride. You made me cry but you also made me laugh. Thank you for making me realize that life truly doesn't have to be perfect. We have no control over anything. We can only plan things but we have no assurance that it would come to reality. It is not bad to feel sad every once in a while. It is not the situation that makes us sad, it is how we react with the different situation that life throws us. It's only about a matter of perspective. It's how we see things and how we let them affect us. 

To some, they call 2014 the "Year of the Wooden Horse," for me 2014 is the "Year of Realization and Appreciation."

So... 2105, I'm more than ready for you, let's get it on. Let's see what you have for me. 2015 is going to be my year, cause it's the "Year of the Sheep."

Another 365 pages to fill in. 2015, let's just enjoy each other's company. Okay??? 

One more thing. I also learned that happiness isn't something that you fake. It is a genuine feeling that will come out naturally without forcing your mind or your heart.