In My Own World

Hey there, my friend. It's been a week since you left. The day you came here was a surprise to me and the day you left was also unexpected.  I could still vividly recall your first day here in our house. You were so aloof. Even the mere presence of Avatar you would instantly grumble. I definitely understand your behavior. We were all unfamiliar to you. You've been taken away from your real family. Though it didn't take long for you to get accustomed with our presence. After a couple of days you're beginning to warm up with us and became the puppy that you were. You and Avatar became playmates. You're not grumbling anymore even when he came close to you. Even to me, you come near me voluntarily. You would climb up to my legs. You come near me when I was doing something while you were looking at me with full of curiosity. It's as if you're asking me what I'm doing.  Days went by and I got to love you more and more each day. Your playfulness. Your too much ...

From time to time I wonder what if I pursued my dream profession. I have this dream of becoming a lawyer.  When I was about to enter college, I planned on enrolling in a pre-law course. I can't remember how the dream started. What's clear to me is until now I still wonder how I will be able to pursue it. I don't know if I just got nothing to do or my heart's really in it.  I used to look for free online courses on the internet about pre-law or law courses. I couldn't find any. I downloaded this book regarding law. It's about what to expect when you study law. I reached up to the half part I think and I've yet to read the other half. And as I was reading I realized that I think I can handle some parts of it. Some parts are still questionable, though.  I remember before we finished high school, we took a career assessment exam. On the result, one of the careers that suits me was lawyer. I couldn't be any happier when I read it. I also remember asking for a...

There comes a point in our life when we no longer want to try. We stop trying to fix broken relationships. We no longer want to try to fix things, so we throw it and buy new stuff. We stop trying to fit in other people's lives. We stop trying to make things work. Probably because we realized our self-worth. Or simply because we got tired. We will come to a point when we realize that no matter how hard we try, there are really things that can never go back to the way they were before. Some broken relationships cannot be fixed. Some wounds cannot be mended. Some things are better left in the past.  We eventually come to a point where we have to learn how to let go. We have to accept that we outgrow people and vice versa. We may have shared a beautiful story together, but our part in their story is over. Or their part in our story has ended. We cannot ask them to stay if they want to leave. We cannot get mad at them for choosing to take the route different from ours. At the end of the...

Someone asked me why I am unemployed. My initial reaction was, "Ouch." That has became my reaction every time someone ask me the same question. God knows how I hate to hear that question. I hate narrating the story about my failure. I hate going back to the time that I was in search for a job. I hate being reminded of my countless failed attempts. I already lost count of how many times I attended a job interview- on site, virtually and via phone call, name it. I couldn't remember anymore how many "unfortunately, we couldn't push further with your application" emails I received. Not to mention the times that I believed when an interviewer told me they would call me. I waited for that call. God knows I waited for that call. Even if weeks had already passed, I still hoped. I was waiting for a call that never came. No one knows how small I felt every time I was being rejected, every time I received rejection emails. Even if I've been through it many times, I...