In My Own World

Recently, I just realized that I'm not getting any younger. I realized it while I was watching an online mass. The priest said that we are all going to die. It's just a matter of time. The life span of a person in average is 70 years old. And I just turned 32. So if God permits that I'll reach the age of 70, I only have 38 years left. But I doubt I'll reach that age. Cause my lifestyle isn't ideal to reach that kind of age. I sleep late. I wake up late. I don't eat vegetables. I don't exercise. Anyway,  suddenly I asked myself why I waste so much time of my 20's worrying about my future. And my future is already happening. I am living in the present, but 5 years ago this was the future that I was worrying about. I was always in a rush to figure things out without realizing that life is passing. It occurred to me how I wasted my time being disappointed with a lot of things. I made a mistake of not living in the present. I spent my time waiting. With what?...

The last time I checked, I can breathe. I have lungs. I need oxygen to live. I don't function out of battery. I'm a human being and not a robot. But why do there are people who think that I don't get tired? And why does it feel like I'm a robot just waiting for someone to press the remote control for me to function? It seems like I won't move if someone didn't press a button on me. I'm just following their commands. Do this and do that. Don't do this. Don't to that. By this time you should be doing this and not that. I have no right to get tired. I have no right to complain. I have no right to rest. I have no right to do the things for myself. Because I'm a robot, so I should just wait for someone to press a button and until then I'll do what they told me to do. But don't they realize that even robots need to recharge? They might probably don't experience physical exhaustion, but surely they need charging. Their batteries get emptied....

Last Monday, September 11, 2023, I attended the concert of Lauv at the Mall of Asia Arena. Alexander 23 was the front act of the show. It started at exactly 8:00 PM. Unlike the last concert that I watched at MOA Arena, I was early this time. If you want to know what happened then, you can read my blog here . 😄 Alexander's songs that night was perfect for a chill night. Some of the concert attendees that night just got off from work, so it's good to hear that kind of song. Perfect for relaxation and laid-back kind of vibe. His performance lasted for more or less than 30 minutes. During his last song, Lauv's face suddenly popped up on the screen. He was already backstage. He was making faces while Alexander was performing seriously. So we were laughing and we were screaming. Lauv came on stage after Alexander was finished with his last song. He thanked him for doing the front act then left the stage afterwards. I thought he would already start the concert.  The show proper s...

About two days ago, I celebrated my birthday. The past few years were quite difficult. But despite that, God is truly generous enough to have given me another year. Many people got sick with covid-19 and also a lot of people died due to it. Some lost their loved ones. And I am one of those fortunate ones who has been given the privilege to still wake up this morning. There are a lot to be thankful for in spite of the tough times that I'd been through especially in the past months. There were nights when I wished that God won't wake me up the following morning. I told Him I've already been through so much. My heart is heavy and I don't think I want to witness another heartache the following day. I carry so much pain in me. Until now I am still healing. I have a lot of wounds that need healing. Sometimes I think that I'm about to be healed, but every now and then the wounds would still bleed. I'm still trying to make the shattered pieces be whole again. And like a...