In My Own World

Sometimes, we think we’ve moved on. We think the past no longer holds any power over us, and the pain we've experienced is safely stored away, a distant memory. But then, something happens. A conversation, a situation, or even a small reminder of that old wound comes up, and suddenly, we’re right back in that place of disappointment and hurt. It feels as though nothing has changed. We thought we were healed, but it becomes painfully clear that we’re not quite there yet. I’ve found myself in that position more times than I care to admit. After thinking I had left the hurt behind, it resurfaces unexpectedly, like a ghost that refuses to be laid to rest. I realize that while I've made progress, I am still affected by the same things that broke me before. It’s frustrating, because deep down, I truly want to be healed, to be free from the grip of these emotions.  What does it mean to be truly healed? For me, it means not being shaken when the same painful situations or memories resu

Sarting a new job always brings a mix of emotions—excitement, nervousness, and a dash of uncertainty. But when that new job also involves a graveyard shift, things take on a whole different flavor. I’ve just completed my first week working from 11:00 PM to 7:00 AM, and while it’s been challenging, it’s also been surprisingly... peaceful. One thing I’ve quickly realized is that time seems to move at a different pace during the night. There's a stillness that contrasts with the fast, chaotic energy of daytime. During the day, it always feels like the hours slip away too quickly. You wake up, rush to prepare for work, and before you know it, half the day is gone. But at night, there’s a quiet that stretches time. My shift starts at 11 PM, and from the moment I settle into work, it feels like I have space to breathe. No rush, no urgency. I can take things one step at a time. The shift may be unconventional, but I’ve found it works for me. One of the perks of working at night is waking

Turning 33 feels like a milestone—a reminder of how far I’ve come and how much I have to be thankful for. As I reflect on this new chapter, my heart overflows with gratitude to the Lord for all the blessings He has showered upon me. This past year has been a journey, filled with both challenges and triumphs, but through it all, I have felt the Lord’s presence guiding me. I’m thankful for the good days that brought me joy and the difficult ones that strengthened my faith. Every moment, every person, and every experience has been a part of His greater plan for my life, and for that, I am deeply grateful. I am blessed with amazing people in my life—family who love me unconditionally, including our dog.  As I celebrate my 33rd year, I also acknowledge how much I’ve grown spiritually. The Lord has been my constant companion, helping me navigate the highs and lows, always lighting the way forward. His protection and provision have never failed, and I find peace in knowing that He is always b

I’m excited to share a significant milestone in my professional journey! I’ve just wrapped up a month-long training program that’s been both intense and rewarding. But before I start my new job, there's one final push: another week of training to solidify everything I've learned so far. The past month has been a whirlwind of learning, growth, and early mornings. I embarked on this training with a mix of excitement and apprehension, knowing that it would be a demanding yet crucial step towards my new career path. Each day started with alarms ringing. Rising early became a routine, a necessary sacrifice to make the most of the training sessions. The content was vast and varied. From technical skills to soft skills, each session was designed to build a solid foundation for the role I’ll be stepping into. The pace was fast, but the knowledge gained was invaluable. Naturally, there were challenges—complex concepts, and moments of doubt. But with perseverance, and patience, I navigat

As I enter my fifth week of training, I can’t help but reflect on the whirlwind of emotions and experiences that have characterized this journey. It’s been a blend of stress, adaptation, and unexpected joys—each day offering a new challenge and a new lesson. It’s also been a period of personal growth, though not without its sacrifices, including the unexpected hiatus from my blog. The first three days of training were nothing short of overwhelming. I felt a mix of anxiety and uncertainty that made even the simplest tasks feel monumental. My appetite vanished; food lost its appeal as I grappled with the pressures of starting something new. The workload seemed unrelenting, and the steep learning curve was a daunting obstacle. Adding to the mix was my struggle with waking up early. I’ve never been an early riser, and adjusting to this new routine was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. The mornings were particularly brutal; I found myself fumbling through my routine, battli

When you were a child, what were the things that you believed were facts, but then you grew up and realized they were all lies? Like the way you believed that Santa Claus existed. Or when you believed your best friend when she told you that you'd be friends forever. Or that time when you believed that your crush didn't have any flaws and that he's perfect. Or that the clouds were following you wherever you went. But then you went to school, and your science teacher told you everything about gravity.  When I was a child, I thought that when someone grows old, his or her name changes. Like, someone's name as a kid was Lily. So, when she grows old, it will turn into something more mature, like Penelope. Well, I know some people do that. When they move to a new city, they change their name. But when I was a child, I had no idea that birth certificates existed. I just thought that someone could easily change their name with just one click. But aside from that, I can't re

These are the songs that instantly make me happy once I hear them. Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon This is one of my all-time favourite songs. Every time I hear it, it instantly makes me happy. And every time I hear it, I always have a last song syndrome. I know this song by heart. I didn't memorise it, but I can sing the whole song without even looking at the lyrics.  It Will Rain by Bruno Mars I know that you don't see this as a "happy song," but every time I hear it, it instantly warms my heart. For some reason, this song brings me joy.  We Are Young Fun ft. Janelle Monáe Hearing this song makes me happy because it brings back memories. Memories from the time when I was at my happiest and, at the same time, lowest point of my life.  Jet Lag Simple Plan ft. Natasha Bedingfield  This makes me happy because of the same reason why I love We Are Young.    My Universe by Coldplay X BTS This makes me happy because every time I hear this song, I remember the